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Arbuckle Life Solutions
Nine 10th Avenue NW
Ardmore, Oklahoma 73401
580-226-1656 - Phone
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Testimonials
My “End”
My addiction took me to the depths of my bottom several times. I am such a slow learner! They say in the program our ends are jails, institutions and death. I experienced all of these “ends” in my addiction multiple times except for physical death of course, but spiritually I was as dead as the dry bones in Ezekiel. But praise God that He is merciful and powerful and loving and able to bring new life and new freedom to even the worst of sinners and stubborn folk like myself. I had managed to get clean and sober numerous times through various treatment centers, jail stays and prison sentences, but I always relapsed within months. And my binges each time brought more destruction than the one before. It seemed I was always going to be what I always was: A sick and disgusted drug addict.
A New Path
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Recovery
Copyright 2010: Arbuckle Life Solutions | Oklahoma Substance Abuse. All Rights Reserved
In 2006 I was released from prison on a high structured supervised parole. My parole officer FORCED me to go to Arbuckle Life Solutions, Inc. despite my highest resistance. Praise God for that Parole Officer and the loving staff at Arbuckle Life Solutions, Inc. God knows EXACTLY what I need and He couldn’t have put me in better hands. They taught me life skills for permanent change. They helped me through a total rediscovery of who I am and how valuable I am as a person. Through step-work, positive relationships and encouraging counselors I learned a new way of thinking and a new way of living that is priceless!
Passing it on
But it doesn’t stop with me. The tools I have received from this amazing outpatient program I not only utilize in my own life, but they are instrumental teaching tools as I continue to pass this message on to addicts and alcoholics still suffering but seeking recovery. Since graduating from Arbuckle Life Solutions, Inc. and discharging my parole, God has opened the door for me to reach out to others like me in this disease. I have opened a Christ-centered recovery house for women in our community called the Naomi House. We presently house several women and we receive calls for applications every week. My recommendation to every one of them is to sign on with Arbuckle Life Solutions, Inc. for counseling, group and aftercare. Because of the MIRACLE in my own life I can help others. God is so good! He will send you angels! And for me those angels were my prison sentence, my parole officer and the staff at Arbuckle Life Solutions, Inc.
My Journey to the Bottom
On February 3, 2009, I woke up with the back of my hair stiff from what I thought was too much gel. There was a 13-inch-diameter circle of red, sticky stuff on the bathroom floor. I thought I had spilled V-8 juice. It took me six hours to realize the red stuff on the floor and the stiffness in my hair was my own blood. I was alone in my one-room apartment, 600 miles from my family who wouldn’t speak to me. They had done an Intervention on me with the help of Arbuckle Life Solutions but I had refused to accept the rehab they had arranged for me. The next day would be my last day of work, if I could get myself there. But I knew I wouldn’t. I hadn’t been to work for two days since I had been drinking around the clock.
I was hitting bottom. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, of alternately fighting the alcohol and giving in to it. That day I finally gave up, not in. I was ready to go to rehab and to do whatever it took to find peace and freedom - something better than this hell I was making for myself. I called a friend who called my family. Thirty-six hours later, they were helping me check into a treatment center.
My Journey to Recovery
Thirty days passed; thirty days of one day at a time, sobering up physically, mentally, and emotionally. At the end of the month I was so much better, but I was still shaky physically and emotionally weak. Coming back home was wonderful, but I was desperate to continue getting help, support, and guidance. My counselor at the treatment facility made an appointment for me at Arbuckle Life Solutions, Inc. I also found an AA meeting the first night I was home.
What a God-send Arbuckle Life Solutions was and is! Living sober day by day is so much more than not drinking. Alcohol is but a symptom of my problems. Learning about my disease of alcoholism, looking at my character flaws honestly, taking responsibility for my actions and emotions is hard and scary work. With the support, guidance, and care of Arbuckle Life Solutions and my Higher Power (plus living one day at a time), I’ve been sober now for six months and three weeks.
My Story
When I found drugs and alcohol I thought I had found the answer to all the pain I felt in life. I could get “high” and suddenly be fun, happy, popular and outgoing. What a lie this turned out to be. The more I used the more I needed and wanted. The further I progressed in the disease the more antisocial, isolated, depressed and suicidal I became. I became physically ill, but worse, I was dying spiritually. I was a very miserable, unhappy, angry human being. My thinking was so delusional and distorted that all I could do was use and drink and rage more and more. In AA they call this insanity, “doing the same thing over and over expecting different results”. I could definitely see this pattern in my life.
My first treatment experience was in 1992, and I tried very hard to get clean and sober without a “higher power.” It did not work. They call this white knuckle sobriety or dry time and it was very painful. Needless to say, the insanity of using returned and my disease was definitely progressing. I reached a degrading, demoralizing new bottom. I not only drank again but I ended up shooting “crank.” A line I swore I would never cross.
My Recovery
In January 1998, I had that moment of clarity and I prayed the most sincere prayer of my life. “God help me! I am totally out of control!” No fox hole praying, no bargaining, just “God help me!” I got help through Arbuckle Drug and Alcohol Information Center (now Arbuckle Life Solutions) and got involved in AA. The 12 steps are a kit of spiritual tools that have given me a new design and direction for life. That is the way it works as long as I do the foot work every day. Some days I do well; some days are just plain hard. But as long as I don’t pick up that first drink or drug I am a miracle by the grace of my God as I understand him. It has worked one day at a time ever since.
But there is so much more work to do! Drugs and alcohol were but a symptom of my deeper personality problems. And Arbuckle Life Solutions is helping me again to learn how to think, feel and act differently. This, to me, is what recovery is really about. Changing how I react and behave and learning to help others do the same. This recovery counseling is what is keeping me emotionally sober today with wonderful moments of peace and serenity.
My Hopelessness
On February 5th 2007 I woke up sick, laying in vomit and hating myself. Financially, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually I was at my bottom. I felt like my life was over and I wanted out but I just didn’t know the way.
Finding Hope
A few days later I was able to get out of bed with my older son at my side encouraging me to get help. As I called around to the alcohol and drug treatment centers in our area I was turned away over and over for my lack of money. As I began to go down the list of phone numbers, tears flowed from my eyes as I thought to myself that no one cares that I was dying inside and no one would help me because I didn’t have any money. I called Arbuckle Life Solutions and told the lady that I needed help but I didn’t have any money. It was like the voice of an angel when she said that no one is turned away due to lack of money. She gave me an appointment time the following week. I began to cry and told her that I couldn’t make it any longer; that I needed help NOW. She gave me an appointment the following morning and said that they would work me in.
Starting My Journey
After my first session with my counselor I was somewhat at ease. He was a very kind, caring person that truly cared about me and wanted to help me. I began to attend the group sessions and the awesome counselors began to teach and talk to us. It was at that time in my life that I realized that I was the problem; I was the sick one, and not everyone around me. The counselors told us about the 12 steps of Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous. I believed I could get past Step One (admitting I was powerless over alcohol and drugs and that my life had become unmanageable.) I believed I could even get past Step Two (coming to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.) I knew there was a Higher Power that could restore me; however, I was angry with God.
Several days into my abstinence I was really feeling unsteady and trying to hang on to what little sobriety I had. I remember praying, “God, what do you want me to do? I can’t do this alone. You are going to have to put in front of me what you want me to do.” The next day a Christian girl came to group and talked about her Higher Power being Jesus. This girl gave me a Bible and it changed my life. As I began to read it, I started to understand what the Arbuckle Life Solutions counselors were talking about when they told us about Steps Two and Three. That weekend I made the decision talked about in Step Three: to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understood Him. And I understand him as Jesus. Hallelujah!
My New Life
Coming from the awful pits of the hellish darkness that I lived in and now into God’s marvelous light - being blind and now being able to see - I now grasp how God uses His vessels for His glory. God took the receptionist and used her to get me into the Agency. God took the counselors and used them to teach me and show me that neither I, nor alcohol, was my Higher Power. God took another group member and placed her in my path so I could see the peace, the love, the joy she had in her life. I wanted it and I found it. So I thank God for Arbuckle Life Solutions. They gave me the tools I needed to work with and because of God working through them I have the life I have today.
The Ending
I woke up to pain and voices arguing about taking someone off a life support machine. Tubes and needles were being roughly pulled from my body. At first, I couldn’t figure out where I was or why. Slowly, my senses began to return and it occurred to me that I must have really screwed up this time. It must have been alcohol-related even though I couldn’t remember what I had done. Whether or not intentional, I must have managed to truly hurt myself this time. After all, it was a pattern that had been established in the distant past and had followed me into recent times. Drinking to ease the confusion of life; too much drink and I would try to permanently escape life and myself.
The pain, hurt and anger on my family’s faces when they walked into that room told the story. My greatest fear had come true; I had lost them, especially my husband. Fear and panic engulfed me; I had to get out of there. Finally, a counselor from some state agency came in. Apparently, I had taken about fifty sleeping pills. At first, she wasn’t going to give me a choice, thirty days observation and rehab at a state institution. I refused. Family, job, nothing would be waiting on me when I got out. Despite the law, I was not going. We reached an agreement. I would immediately seek help and my husband would stay with me for now. If I messed up again they reserved the right to institutionalize me. I was more than willing. I had to get help quickly to save myself.
The Beginning
Finding help perplexed me. The past had left me with little faith in counselors and other programs, but I had to try. I called Arbuckle Life Solutions, told them my situation and admitted to being unable to pay hardly anything. The receptionist was very kind and concerned. She explained that they would work with me financially and that they wouldn’t turn me away. She made me an appointment for that same afternoon. My counselor was not what I expected. No psychiatric-babble, just straightforward talk and a lot of care and concern. She proved to be my lifeline. She introduced spirituality and faith back into my life, helped me realize that I am worthwhile person and that I can face life straight on. And she taught me the value of trust and honesty. She introduced me to AA and the wonderful recovery to be found there. The staff at Arbuckle Life Solutions threw me a life preserver when I was drowning. They are dedicated to keeping me afloat until I can swim on my own without help.
Continued Blessings
I have learned that recovery is an ongoing process. If I let go of my faith, relinquish my spirituality, lose hope in myself, or let myself believe that I am cured of this disease, my chances of survival are slim. So I continue to learn and grow. I learn to follow the advice and guidance of my counselors, to listen and learn from others, and to recognize all the blessings in my life. As I grow in recovery I have been blessed with many opportunities to share what I have learned with others who are hurting. The blessing of sowing seeds of hope into other alcoholics / addicts make the recovery process worthwhile in and of itself. I thank God everyday for the people at Arbuckle Life Solutions, the wonderful work they do, and most of all, the hope they give.
